How dare I show my imperfect body on the internet.
Does my cellulite make you uncomfortable? Does my body disgust you to the point that you must say something? As if I have never heard the slurs? It’s just the facts, right? It’s just your opinion. It’s not hurtful. I’m just being honest. Why would you show your barrel belly and your man shoulders? Your body is weird. You should keep your clothes on. Pig. People would like you more if you would just shut up and keep your clothes on. Imperfect people shouldn’t show themselves or speak their mind or be offensive.
Offense is the best defense, right?
I’m not sorry if I offend you. Clearly, you aren’t sorry either.
You should ask yourself why my body offends you.
I fucking love this body. This body has had to fight for every grace it has been given. This body has done the work, in so many ways, so many times. It’s just a body. It’s my body, and it is what it is. I could be where I was a year ago, still feeling like I should be hiding. Like they want me to. But I am not doing this life this way for anyone but me.
And I’m all done hiding. No matter how hard you try, you can never really hide anyway.
Do they think I am full of myself and that I think I have an amazing body now? Or do they realize that all of this has to happen so that I can keep this feeling of lightness going? So that I am willing to keep up the fight for a happy life? Cuz that’s what I’m doing. I’m wearing what I want and I’m constantly trying to be someone on the inside that I have never been able to be.
I walk a tightrope everyday. But like riding a bike, you have to keep pedaling. The second you stop pedaling, when you can’t coast anymore, you are no longer in motion. No longer walking the tightrope. And we all know by now, we have to just keep fucking going no matter what in order to be happy.
Maybe I need to block and delete more often. Bury my head in the sand and maintain my peace. People that really know me are cheering me on. Cuz they know how far I have come, how much I have fought. And maybe just because they live their life by that Golden Rule. The one we all learned in like first grade.
Or if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all. That’s the equivalent of keep scrolling. You don’t have to state the obvious.
Let me just lock this heart up so the tears only fall for the right reasons. And you don’t have access to the key.