POV: This is what an #emptynester #nightshiftnurse #californiagirl does when she gets called off due to low census after unsuccessfully trying to sleep all day.
Rolled straight out of bed into my controversial string bikini, drank a protein drink, ate some burnt roasted Brussels sprouts and half of my bean burrito from Los Inmortales that I didn’t finish last night at work. Then I took some selfies by the pool to show you my scars and my results as they are today, bed head, no make up and all. Then I swam for a bit, to burn off the crazy, and then got in the hot tub with my Schmoopy. (And they don’t call it a hot tub for nothin’, just sayin’)
I am almost 7 weeks post-op for my bilateral dog ear removal under my arms left over from my breast reduction and a small amount of liposuction on the sides (R>L) to correct some asymmetry left over from my extended tummy tuck. My incisions are closed, and I only have a few minor spitting stitches on my left side, not causing wounds. I put Biocorneum, a silicone gel, on my fresh scars to help them stay moist and heal and encourage them to lay flat and fade nicely. I don’t put the scar gel on my tummy tuck incision or on my older breast reduction scars anymore. That shit is expensive. I already got whatever benefit from the scar gel that I’m going to get in those areas, now they just need time to blend in. Like me. Time to adjust and to accept and to fade.
I gave you a few poses so you can see the results of my plus size tummy tuck with a 40 lb weight loss after surgery. I am by no means “snatched” and I know just how imperfect I remain, stretch marks and all. But, together we have decided that we are all perfectly imperfect and it’s high time we stop judging each other and stop comparing ourselves to one another. We are all on our own journeys, and the best parts of you may not be the best parts of me.
I paid a man to cut off the parts of me that I hated.
And I know that in some ways that is a weakness.
There is so much strength in that decision, too. I took back my life, stole it right out from under that hanging belly. Stole it out from under the burdens of a lifetime.
I am stronger than ever, inside and out. I am evolved into this fledgling super hero, the savior of my own damn life.
When I made a video in this same bikini and told everyone not to judge me unless they were willing to put themselves on the internet at age 49/50 in a string bikini, I got so much hate for it. That video has close to a million views, with comments both in support of me and in condemnation. Outright insults. I have accepted that it goes with the territory and it’s part of the side gig. And some people are just assholes. But if I count them all out, the majority of the people that are watching me live out loud have picked me up and carried me on their shoulders when I couldn’t even get out of bed on my own. When I fought my way out of years of pandemic depression without a lens to see myself in light.
I picked up a few new lenses. Maybe a whole damn kaleidoscope.
So let’s fuckkng go.
These words may all be cheesy, or as Cass would say, cringy, to you. I also know you may be getting tired of hearing my story, but it’s gotta come out. It’s gotta breathe and be spoken, and it’s got to be heard and understood. It’s got a heartbeat of it’s own as if it is separate from me. Like a whole different life. And like I have said before, you are either along for the ride or you’re not.
I even spelled “you’re” right for the wordsmiths.
So, here I am.
Right in the middle of this messy, beautiful, fucked up, perfect life.
Go ahead and check out my scars. They were always visible anyway, even before my surgeries.