Last night was arguably the worst night of my life. I now know what 10/10 pain is, so don’t try and tell your nurse 10/10 if you are able to be on your smartphone or watch TV, or do anything other than keep still, close you eyes, breathe through it, or moan. That’s 10/10.

I passed out twice when trying to get up to pee. Like literally out for 15 seconds per Robbie. The first time, he was unable to catch me and I fell back onto the bed, stretched out in a way I’m not supposed to. Crazy eyes rolled all around. He thought I might be having a seizure…but I just passed out. The second time was a few hours later, but he caught me that time. Low urine output. Likely dangerously low BP. I got all tingly just prior to blacking out. Prob should have stayed overnight in the hospital. Prob could have used a bolus. That being said, I probably got more one on one TLC from my Schmoopy than even the best of nurses. He drives me insane in the day to day stuff. But when I really need him, he is amazing and patient and loving and I’m gonna cry I love him so much. Get you a man that sets his alarm every two hours just to check on you.

This morning has been better. It still fickkng hurts when I move, but maybe just 8-9/10. I’m taking all the meds. My kidneys are working better, too. I can keep my eyes are open. I’m tolerating fluids, yogurt, applesauce, saltine crackers. I even just had some chicken noodle soup. Over all, that is much better compared to last night.

I’m not ready to share the pics on social media, as they are very graphic. But my surgeon just called to check in on me and he told me he took 17 lbs of skin and subcutaneous fat/tissue and 2200 mLs of fat via liposuction. Way more than the average. I am extra, you know.

I will have lots of swelling for quite sometime, so the results will not be immediately evident. But, I can already see the changes. I have a lap. Haven’t seen the tops of my thighs when sitting in years and years.

I have 4 JP drains. Robbie empties those for me, too. He has to lift me to get up and slowly lower me to get down. Gentle and patient. He keeps saying “you did this for me when I had my heart surgery.” But that’s not true. He didn’t come home until PO 10. Big difference.

Remember all those inspirational quotes I posted for him during his recovery?

Now it’s my turn.